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Audacity of Truth
A post that may get me in trouble
… but so be it 
I’m taking an informal poll on engagement rings. I’m looking fwd to the responses
For the ladies:
1. When a gent tells you he’d like for the two of you to be engaged, and wants you to select the engagement ring, about how much would you expect him to spend on it?
2. Would you be offended if he wanted to spend less on it than you expect him to?
3. Or is it the thought that counts, and it doesn’t matter the amount spent, as long as it doesn’t come out of a Cracker Jack box?
4. Would you be ok with a used ring (excluding heirlooms/antiques with a known history)?
For the gents:
1. When you talk to your g/f about becoming engaged, what do you expect to spend on the ring?
2. Would you be offended if she asked for a ring that was over, say, $3K?
3. Would knowing that she wanted you to spend over $3K for an engagement ring and would not accept anything less make you have second thoughts about her priorities in the relationship?
4. Would you be ok with buying her a used ring (excluding heirlooms/antiques with a known history)?
None of these are trick questions, I assure you
Edit to add: I know quite a few folks who have made it past the engagement stage and onto marriage post here, but I hope they will participate in the poll anyway and look at it as a hypothetical.
Update I: Scott Allan in the comments section makes a good point about surprising the woman with an engagement ring. That’s the way it is traditionally done, but more and more these days I’m hearing about couples who actually discuss getting engaged before getting engaged – for what it’s worth.
Update II: I should note that it’s not me getting engaged.
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Bach, the man in question isn’t filthy rich, but he’s not hurting for cash, for sure. Although he may be if he buys this ring
Elaine and I were both dirt poor when I asked her to marry me. There was no engagement ring, and the honeymoon was a weekend camping in Boonesboro state park; that’s it.
So far, we’ve been married for 26 years, 10 months and 25 days; apparently the lack of an engagement ring wasn’t a problem.
The ring is an investment..always keep that in mind..it is better to get quality rather than quantity on a diamond! It is an investment in your future together.
1. 1/2 of monthly salary.
2. I don’t think I would be offended because he would see things my way.
3. It is an investment and if we are at the ingagement stage, I know his finances and visa versus. I would hear out his reasons for spending less and if they are valid and the money not spent on the ring were going to a beneficial investment for both of us..so be it..I still have him, the investment and the crappy ring.
4. There are quality used gems out there..Just get a good appraiser to look at the stone before you buy it…Do not take someones word for it..even if it is at a jewelry store you know to be good…most stores offer you the chance to have an outside appraiser give it a look…
Steve?…..Steve?….only one comment on this topic?
I wish I knew how to quit you!!!!
Our esteemed blogmistress wrote:
High maintenance can still be nice — to someone who doesn’t have to do the maintenance!
Baklava wrote:
Whew! Thank God I’m Catholic!
- All this marriage talk is giving me hives…..
- Bang
>All this marriage talk is giving me hives…
And flashbacks.
LOL Bang and Cav
Singles still have fun it seems, look at what happens when Ms. Piggy is gone away from Kermit: Link
oH my eyes….
Wife corrected me.
She talked me out of buying a more expensive ring for her.
She also said that material things do NOT prove Love.
*chuckles*
It might be impolitic to ask, but why buy an engagement ring at all?
Pam said:
It seems a strange way to put it: to see it in monetary terms is something that would occur only if the couple broke up and the ring was sold! (Pam did put it in monetary terms further in her comment.)
The fact is that it becomes a financial burden: a month’s salary or ½ a month’s salary is a big thing to people living from paycheck-to-paycheck, and if the ring has to be financed, it becomes just another bill to be paid as a young couple, presumably not at the peak of their earning potential, are starting out in life.
The $28,000 proposed ring that got this thread started would make a pretty decent down payment on a house. $28,000 would pay for a year in college for one of their children, which they don’t (yet) have, and if put into an educational savings plan, might just wind up paying for college, period, when their children do get old enough.
Instead, by spending it on an engagement ring, it is a $28,000 accessory, an end product, serving no purpose more valuable than allowing the
wenchlady in question to flaunt it to her friends.