(I’ll bet none of those critters were “progressives”)

You can tell that because the flags weren’t burned…

Welcome to France, appeasing our enemies since 1912, and still trying to make it work out for all of us.

Maybe we can brainstorm some new slogans. Send them to Jacques or the new Sultan of France. – Lorica

This is true, appeasement does not work. I took the Chunnel to Paris once, and was surprised to see armed guards at the train station. When I say armed, I say armed with machine guns. And this was in the 90’s. So it looks like they have had problems for a very long time.

Not sure what is wrong with these Muslim extremists, or why they want to hurt people. I can understand why they would want to hurt themselves. After they cut of somebody’s head, they must have a tough time living with themselves.

It starts off like this:

PARIS – Al-Qaida has for the first time announced a union with an Algerian insurgent group that has designated France as an enemy, saying they will act together against French and American interests.

And France learns YET again that appeasment does not work.

Alright, drop my chicken, or you’re a dead duck:

A woman shot her husband in the back after he killed her pet chicken, the Lane County sheriff’s deputies said. Deputies said they were sure that Mary Gray, 58, intended to shoot her husband, Stephen Gray, 43. They weren’t certain if the husband meant to fire at the chicken.

“We don’t know if it was an accident or if it was on purpose” Sgt. Clint Riley said. “It depends who you ask.”

Riley said the couple had been drinking for much of Monday while they did yard work at their rented home in the town northwest of Eugene, and they began arguing after Stephen Gray shot the chicken with a .44-caliber handgun.

Deputies said he was then hit with a shot from a .22-caliber rifle, and is recovering. Mary Gray was arraigned Tuesday on an assault charge.

(Thank goodness the poor chicken wasn’t armed too.)

Even the small animals are patriots in Wisconson:

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. – Groundskeepers at Forest Hill Cemetery thought it was kids who were stealing dozens of American flags. That is, until one found a giant squirrel’s nest.

“I was mowing, looked up out into the distance, and something caught my eye” said Dave Ender, a groundskeeper employed by the Eau Claire Parks and Recreation Department.

He drove his riding lawnmower to a nearby street intersection and looked up a tree.

“Low and behold, I found the missing flags” Ender said.

They were ripped and serving as the foundation of a giant squirrel nest.

(I’ll bet none of those critters were “progressives”)

Nostrivia, you dog you:

A 15-year old girl and her younger friends have badly beaten and buried alive her aunt for selling her dog to a barbecue shop. The girl said that the dog had come to her in a dream and asked her to punish the woman who had caused its death.

The Kurier newspaper from the North Russian region of Pskov said that the girl, Nastya Horina, called the police herself and confessed to killing her 36-year-old aunt. The girl said that her dog, which went missing about a year ago, had come to her in a dream and said that it was killed. The dog also said that the girl would soon find the killer and asked her to avenge its death.

The next day after the dream, the girl met her aunt who said it was her who sold the dog for a bottle of vodka to a barbecue shop. Nastya together with her friends who were even younger then her took the woman to a gravel pit, beat her badly and then buried the woman while she was still alive.

Prosecutors say that the girl can be sentenced to 5 to 7 years in a penal colony for her crime.

(Laika, the space dog was not available for comment.)

- Bang

A 79-year-old woman was arrested in Chicago after she tried to hold up a bank at gunpoint.

She wore a white visor that read “princess” and black sunglasses when she tried to hold up the bank with a toy gun.

The Chicago Sun-Times says she could be the oldest woman ever charged with bank robbery in the city.

An FBI agent’s affidavit says she walked into a Bank of America branch and told a female cashier she could not speak very loud because she had just come from the dentist.

(First she had a tooth filled, then she tried to fill her purse. Bad plan.)

MIAMI – A Florida diver shot a large grouper with a spear gun then apparently drowned when the fish sped into a hole, entangling the man in the line attached to the spear, investigators said Monday.

The 42-year-old man, whose name was withheld, was free-diving in about 25 feet of water off the lower Florida Keys Saturday and speared a Goliath Grouper, Monroe County Sheriff’s Detective Mark Coleman said.

“It looks like the fish wrapped the line attached to the spear around the victim’s wrist. The fish then went into a hole in a coral rock, effectively pinning the man to the bottom of the ocean” Coleman said in a news release.

(An obvious disagreement as to who caught who. One time he no doubt wishes it was the one that got away.)

- Bang

LONDON – A blind man who was convicted of dangerous driving after he admitted being behind the wheel of a car that touched 35 mph was given a three-month suspended sentence on Monday.

- Aziz, 31, who lost his eyes after an explosion in his homeland of Iraq, had been driving by following instructions on where to steer and when to brake from a passenger who himself had been banned from driving.

- When police stopped the Peugeot 405 in April this year after it had erratically negotiated two traffic islands and a corner, Aziz’s passenger explained that his friend was blind.

- His barrister told reporters: “For his offense, Omed Aziz was banned from driving for three years”.

The court at Warley magistrates’ in Oldbury, West Midlands, is really tough on blind driving.

(Next time they’ll ban him from driving for at least 5 years? – G_d may be great, but this is rediculous. I guess if you want to drive “blind”, England is dah place.)

- Bang

I feel the latter, except when they shed all over my dark suit, in direct proportion to how much I’m running late.