Here they don’t like to use their turn signals until they’ve reached the wide swing right mode, in order to make the left as though it was an 18 wheeler and somehow not burning the blinker for a couple ticks is building up carbon credits……..and………they’re driving a mini-cooper!

That’s two.

Maybe I’m a bit of a jerk, but I’ll invite them ahead of me if they’re standing in line patiently, but if their feeling entitled (you can tell from body language normally), then I’m back to … go to the express line!

Finally- I’d had my fill and as was evident by the actions and mumblings of my fellow hapless travelers, so had they. I spun round and had the battery out before she could say buh bye. “Who do you think you are!” and a few other unheard insults came my way from the selfish twit. “Do you want this back?, as I held up the battery. “Whadda you think?”, says mindless twit? “You don’t wanna know what I think maam but if you wanna START thinking, there are about two dozen souls right here who’d appreciate the hell out of THAT!”, as I dropped the contents back into her lap. I would say that she whisked herself away but I don’t know if it can be said that 150 lbs. of 5′3 stuffed into a size 6 leopard grape skin whisks anywhere, short of an avalanche.

For the record, the smiles and thanks from my stranded mates were not necessary but…..and ……..I really am fun to travel with!

That’s one.

Be careful out there folks…

sound effects that make each kiss sound like a cow pulling its foot out of wet mud.

ROTFL!!

First on my list are the dimwits who think they need to share their cell phone conversation with everyone within 50 yeards. This odd creature can be identified by an extremely loud voice and generally inane speech content. It wanders through life basically unaware of any other creature in its habitat. This species appears to be growing exponentially, as there are no natural predators to keep them in check. Although it’s possible a certain large white rat may evolve to take on that role….

Also, there’s a mutation of that species: the one who yaks on the cell phone while driving and pays no attention to the road. This species can be identified by sudden and unpredictable changes in velocity (usually caused by the need to dial a new number). The natural habitat of this creature is, of course, the passing lane of any interstate highway, where it builds “dams” that have much the same effect on traffic as beaver dams do on streams.