Why not call this mascot Ferris Bueller?

Cue Ben Stein.

Sabres – naming a team after a weapon???? How dare you!!!

Hurricanes – the Goracle has warned us that AGW will cause weekly category 10 hurricanes, so this name obviously endorses Global Warming. Mustn’t have that!

Giants – creates a hostile environment for the vertically challenged.

Black Hawks – another slur against Indians Native Americans.

Chiefs – see Black Hawks.

Steelers – a salute to capitalist robber barons. And do you know how many greenhouse gases are emitted to make a ton of steel? BTW, did you know that fire can’t melt steel?

Kings – a throwback to the days when nations were ruled and the people in servitude to an unelected autocrat. Unlike, say, the thriving democracies in places like Cuba.

Because of a losing record the former is beneath contempt. No TV cameras to cover our valiant protests against the Rethugicans!

And the latter must NEVER be mentioned in my presence – or I will go howarddean! For the unspeakable crime of stealing Lou Brock away – no, I cannot go on –

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

And don’t stop with the team names. What good does it do to rename the Padres if they still play for San Diego, which is foreign for some kind of pork chop or something?

The following sports names should be banned:

1. Redskins
2. Indians
3. Braves
4. Canadians
5. Browns

And why should they be banned? Everyone knows that when a sports team gets named after some group, it is solely to degrade and humiliate that group. It is no good to protest, for example, that the Cleveland Browns were named after Paul Brown – it is the reference to color that is unforgivably offensive

Likewise, the following names must be also ostracized:

1. Yankees
2. 49ers
3. Patriots
4. Cowboys
5. Vikings

And why should they be banned? Everyone knows that when a sports team gets named after some group, it is solely to promote the imperialist right-wing white-male agenda of that group.

Other candidates for censure:

1. Oilers - environmental exploitation.
2. Panthers – ditto. While we are at it, all references to the animal kingdom should be outlawed, since everyone knows that when a sports team gets named after some animal, it is solely to promote speciesism.
3. Saints – a blatant attempt to create a Christianist theocracy.
4. Warriors – glorifying war-for-oil.
5. Canuck – no, I don’t know what that means, but I don’t like the sound of it. And one can never be too careful – do we want to give paranoia a bad name?

And now he has his chance for revenge.

But, anyway, Ferrous is a much better name.

“If you had the luck of the Irish,
you’d be sorry and wish you were dead.
If you had the luck of the Irish,
you would wish you were English instead.”

Speaking as a Mick/Kraut/Limey mongrel, I concur with you. Now I’m heading out to buy some Pork Chops!

As to “pork chop,” I’ve never heard it used to describe anyone, save one esoteric group. US Navy Supply Corps officers are commonly called “pork chops” due to a fancied semblance of their corps device to the taste treat in question. Far from taking offense, they revel in their nickname. I know, I was one. I used to have a sweat shirt from the Supply Corps School, labeled “Pork Chop University.” Wish I still had it, I’d snap a shot of me wearing it and send it to these morons.

Plus, I asked a Mexican-American guy in my watch team about the term. He’d never heard it before, he thought I was joking. He believes, as do I, that this was an entirely manufactured offense. Had the team chosen “Allen Wrenches” or “Rotary Engines” these clowns would have jumped shrieking onto the race baiting bandwagon. I wish they’d been sent packing.

http://www.bradybunchshrine.com/bbsounds1.htm

1) We will no longer celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I find this “holiday” nothing more than a reason for people to get drunk and then blame it on the Irish. It is offensive and humiliating. It must stop.

2) The term “Luck of the Irish” will now be banned. All it does is attribute random acts of luck to a situation. Somehow the Irish have been associated with luck rather than hard work. It is offensive and humiliating. It must stop.

3) Lucky Charms. For decades this cereal has made a mockery of Irish people. I have held my tongue for too long on this subject. A leprechaun with a silly Irish accent is a slap in the face to every person of Irish decent. It is offensive and humiliating. It must stop.

4) The color green has been associated with all of these offensive practices. From now on, wearing, displaying, showing, and talking about the color green has been declared a hate crime and anyone who violates this law will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law………….unless an Irishman does it.

Thank you all for this public service announcement.

OTOH, I could almost understand if Muslims were offended by it–or did I just make a slur?