My responses to select spam email headlines

I never respond to spam email, but tonight, I thought I’d give it a try – after all, they can’t ALL mean nasty and vulgar things, can they? I mean, the email headlines may really not mean what we think it does. Examples:

“Get lucky every night.”
Yeah? You mean like with the lottery or bingo? I’m game! What do I need to do?

“Satisfy her all night long.”
Does that mean he’ll finally start wearing nasal strips? Excellent! Now I can finally get some sleep.

“BUSINESS PROPOSAL”
Ooooh! Could this finally be the $1,000,000 anonymous PayPal donation I’ve been dreaming about?

“Make her notice you in a whole new way.”
Wha? You mean flowers will be on my kitchen table when I get home, and the dishes washed and put away, and clothes folded, and a glass of wine waiting? Believe me, I’ll notice that!

“Look younger in five minutes!”
Save it! I already know the wonders that Blanche DuBois-style lighting will do for woman’s face, thank you veruh much.

“Get rid of junk email forever.”
Ummm …

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Any you’d like to add?