Is @Virgin’s @RichardBranson accepting nominations for who can help him #PopulateMars?

Posted by: ST on September 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm

This one was too good to pass up:

Richard Branson is on a mission to Mars.

The Virgin Airlines CEO says he has a plan to populate the red planet with an intergalactic Noah’s Ark.

“Obviously, you are going to want scientists initially,” he told the New York Post at Condé Nast Traveler’s Celebration of “The Visionaries” at Alice Tully Hall. “You’re going to want physicians, you’re going to want comedians, you’re going to want fun people, beautiful people, ugly people — a good cross-section of what happens on Earth — on Mars. People have got to be able to get on together, because it’s going to be quite confined.”

Branson would also like to take the journey himself, though, “It may be a one-way trip because the energy to get you there is relatively easy, the energy to get you back is quite difficult. So maybe I’ll wait till the last 10 years of my life, and then maybe go, if my wife will let me.”

He has one more taker in Susan Sarandon, who was overheard backstage telling the Virgin Galactic mogul she’d like to travel to space “and open a pingpong bar.”

Oh, my dear dear Mr. Branson. I have a very, very long list of people, mostly your fellow liberals, who I’d love for you to consider making that trip to Mars – assuming it’s a permanent one, of course. It’s a bit longish and, quite frankly, would rival Santa Claus’ “nice kid” list – but I think you’d find a lot in common with many of the people on it.

Just let me know … ;)

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4 Responses to “Is @Virgin’s @RichardBranson accepting nominations for who can help him #PopulateMars?”


  1. Bruce Abbott says:

    I seem to remember a bit in the old British 13-episode version of Adam’s “Hitchiker’s Guide” where a planet sent out a colony ship staffed with critical trades like ‘Telephone Sanitizers’. If I recollect, the ship was programmed to crash rather than land. Sounds like fantasy may become reality here…

  2. Carlos says:

    And, typical of all liberal thought, all those “thoughtful” people (the scientists and thinkers – a.k.a., socialists) imagine the world they create in their minds will somehow magically appear if they dream it up.

    It takes WORKERS, you stupid oafs! Not only that, but because of the preciousness of the limited resources available to those poor suckers who do go first, the “thoughtful” people will undoubtedly have to double as workers themselves.

    That will put a stop to a lot of their plotting and planning, the fact that they’d actually have to put in some actual physical toil to make it all work. (They are too used to thinking up their goofball solutions to problems that don’t exist and forcing those solutions on those of us who actually produce.)

  3. Drew the Infidel says:

    This should be easy enough to accomplish. Thanks to Obhammud gutting NASA to finance his uber-liberal social engineering projects like food stamps and other lifelong entitlements, I’m sure the space vehicles wiil be offered at “fire sale” prices. And the dump truck load of pink slips issued by NASA should aid in providing a comptent workforce.

  4. H Hazell says:

    What will happen when someone with legitimate wisdom has the audacity to say, “Populate Mars? You should consider taking heterosexuals.”