Genius: Maryland legislator proposes “Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act”

Posted by: Phineas on March 10, 2013 at 3:18 pm

**Posted by Phineas

"Watch out! He's got a Pop-tart!!"

Protecting the right to keep and bear Pop-tarts

Proof once again that mockery is a wonderful weapon. In the wake of little Josh Welch getting in trouble with school officials for the horrible crime of biting his Pop-tart into the shape of a gun and playing with it, a Maryland lawmaker has introduced a bill to… Well, to tell school officials to stop being a bunch of idiots:

A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things — or talking about things, or eating things — that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns.

Sen. J. B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore Harford Counties, introduced “The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013? on Thursday, reports The Star Democrat.

Presumably the provisions of this bill would also protect the infamous toddler-terrorist in Pennsylvania who gave delicate school officials the vapors with her dreaded pink bubble-gun. Perhaps she should consider asking for asylum, if this bill goes through.

My favorite part of the legislation, however, is this:

The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

Now I call that a useful law!  It’s a shame our education professionals seem to need it.

RELATED: More insane anti-gun hysteria from Dan Mitchell and Eric Owens.

via Sissy Willis and Iowahawk

(Crossposted at Public Secrets)

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3 Responses to “Genius: Maryland legislator proposes “Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act””


  1. Here are a couple of suggestions for starters:

    1. Require a urinalysis as a condition of employment.

    2. Make it board policy that a principal or other administrator has the authority to unceremoniously throw such hypersensitive employees a*ses out of their office for such inane complaints; and record every such incident in their service records.

  2. LCVRWC says:

    Excellent. I hope soon the Maryland Assembly will get a bill outlawing Maryland because it’s shaped like a gun.

  3. Geography class should be a riot. The poor citizens of Alberta have the barrel (panhandle) of Idaho pressed against them and have had for years.