Genius: Maryland legislator proposes “Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act”

**Posted by Phineas

"Watch out! He's got a Pop-tart!!"
Protecting the right to keep and bear Pop-tarts

Proof once again that mockery is a wonderful weapon. In the wake of little Josh Welch getting in trouble withΒ schoolΒ officials for theΒ horrible crimeΒ of biting his Pop-tart into the shape of a gun and playing with it, a Maryland lawmaker has introduced a bill to… Well, to tell school officials toΒ stop being a bunch of idiots:

A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things β€” or talking about things, or eating things β€” that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns.

Sen. J. B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore Harford Counties, introduced β€œThe Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013? on Thursday, reports The Star Democrat.

Presumably the provisions of this bill would also protect the infamous toddler-terrorist in Pennsylvania who gave delicate school officials the vapors with her dreadedΒ pink bubble-gun. Perhaps she should consider asking for asylum, if this bill goes through.

My favorite part of the legislation, however, is this:

The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

Now I call that a useful law! Β It’s a shame our education professionals seem to need it.

RELATED: More insane anti-gun hysteria fromΒ Dan MitchellΒ andΒ Eric Owens.

viaΒ Sissy WillisΒ andΒ Iowahawk

(Crossposted at Public Secrets)

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