North Korea: all men must now wear Kim Jong Un’s hairstyle?

Posted by: Phineas on March 26, 2014 at 3:11 pm

**Posted by Phineas

Bah! You call that a "haircut?"

Bah! You call that a “haircut?”

When you’re the boy god-king of the world’s largest prison camp masquerading as a nation, you can get away with weird, petty stuff like this:

If you are a man in North Korea, we sincerely hope you have a round face. It’s the shape that will work with your new haircut.

That new haircut is reportedly called the “Dear Leader Kim Jong Un,” modeled after—you guessed it—North Korean leader Kim Jong-un’s impenetrable block of black hair atop his chubby cheeks. The style reportedly became a state-mandated guideline about two weeks ago, though experts familiar with the country have said there’s no evidence a new hairstyle rule has gone into effect.

According to the article, this isn’t something new for North Korea: Kim’s father, the late, demented Kim Jong Il, launched a state campaign against long hair on the grounds that it sucked the nutrients from one’s brain.

Really.

Anyway, a TV campaign was launched and “journalists” would go to people’s homes to confront them about their overly lengthy locks. This being North Korea, I suppose they were lucky not to be shot or fed to the dogs.

Back to Kim III, and regardless of whether this is true, it’s another illustration of why limited, constitutional government is best; when there are no limits to the powers of the rulers, there are also no limits to what they will do the the ruled. North Korea is just the extreme example that clarifies the point.

(Crossposted at Public Secrets)

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6 Responses to “North Korea: all men must now wear Kim Jong Un’s hairstyle?”

Comments

  1. Drew the Infidel says:

    It will be impossible for a starving populace to get a fat face like Lil’ Kim’s, let alone a “chili bowl” haircut.

  2. ST says:

    Back to Kim III, and regardless of whether this is true, it’s another illustration of why limited, constitutional government is best; when there are no limits to the powers of the rulers, there are also no limits to what they will do the the ruled. North Korea is just the extreme example that clarifies the point.

    Word.

  3. Tom TB says:

    They NEVER were commies to begin with, just an oddball family that doesn’t know when to retire. What do they make that the rest of the planet Earth wants?

  4. A. Ray says:

    In N. Korea a chili bowl is only used for haircuts, they’d never find chili in it or any food requiring the use of a bowl.
    Kim Jong Ill is ultimately what every liberal/progressive aspires to. I hear N. Korea has universal healthcare, housing for all, public mandatory education, compulsory voting.Artists and musicians enjoy their pursuits without that pesky “job lock”.

  5. 1stworlder says:

    What happens to bald guys, or people who go too long without haircuts?

  6. LoopTheLup says:

    Thankfully, this one turns out not to be true – still a hilarious/disturbing thought, though.

    LINK