Only the space aliens can save Earth from us!

Posted by: Phineas on August 21, 2011 at 5:53 pm

**Posted by Phineas

The Galactic EPA swings into action!

Really, the eco-loons must be getting desperate. With their credibility collapsing like Al Gore’s psyche and fewer and fewer people regarding the Great Demon Global Warming as a genuine threat, it’s apparently not enough to threaten that the Earth herself might punish us. Nope. Unless we mend our ways, something worse is going to happen.

The space aliens are gonna get us!

Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by a Nasa-affiliated scientist and colleagues at Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.

Shawn Domagal-Goldman of Nasa’s Planetary Science Division and his colleagues compiled a list of plausible outcomes that could unfold in the aftermath of a close encounter, to help humanity “prepare for actual contact”.

The report is is actually a broader study of the possible outcomes of first contact with alien civilizations, ranging from beneficial to neutral to “we’re hosed.” Honestly, I think something like this is in theory worthwhile; I’ve no doubt we’ll someday encounter extraterrestrial life, perhaps civilized, and thinking about the possibilities beforehand isn’t a bad idea. And, on the scale of government waste, at least it’s not as bad as spending $3 million for a turtle tunnel.

That is, it’s okay until you get to the part where the authors hyperventilate while lost in a “Green vengeance” fantasy:

“A preemptive strike [against mankind] would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth’s atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions,” the report states.

“Green” aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. “These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets,” the authors write.

For some reason, I’m picturing a mad scientist laughing maniacally and shouting “YOU FOOLS!!”

What we’re seeing here, of course, is the reaction of the arrogant to not being given what they think is due deference. It’s similar to what we’ve seen from liberal Democrats and the Left (redundant, I know): first their position as the natural governing party in the US was ended by Reagan and now with escalating collapse of the welfare state worldwide, they lash out at those who oppose them as “Nazis,” “racists,” “teabaggers,” and either bribed or mentally ill. (1)

It’s the same with alarmist academics, who can’t handle being questioned and challenged, whether by fellow scientists who refuse to go along passively with the “consensus” or by ordinary citizens who can see with increasing clarity that their predictions don’t come true (2), that there has been no statistically significant warming since 1995, and that the “climate science community” is rife withintellectual corruption at least.

And so, unable to win their arguments with facts, they’re reduced to dreaming of an alien invasion (3).

via Obi’s Sister

(1)  In fact, one of their high priests, former Enron adviser and New York Times’ columnist Paul Krugman, has also fantasized about aliens saving America from conservative economics. Must be something in their lattes.
(2) I’m still waiting for that tropospheric hot spot to show up.
(3)  Didn’t we already see this in that lousy Keanu Reeves remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still?

(Crossposted at Public Secrets)

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16 Responses to “Only the space aliens can save Earth from us!”


  1. Carlos says:

    To the “scientists” from NASA and Penn State (hardly Hawvud, but that’s another story):

    The unicorns are very, very hungry, and as a result are getting very, very angry, and may unleash their untold godly powers of destruction on mankind if you don’t go out and feed the posthaste!

    Please save us from them! Please!!!!

  2. kx59 says:

    This has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen coming out of the global warming proponents. And, that is saying a lot.
    The “scientific consensus” has been so thoroughly debunked, the money for global warming, er climate change, er climate disruption “research” is starting to dry up. (see, even money flow is affected by global warming. add it to the list)
    So now the warmists are hoping to hold on to the last vestiges of their money donors, the folks that have “welcome to earth” painted on their roofs.
    This sickens me actually. These are the loons, unmasked, that spent decades weaving this elaborate hoax for redistributive justice.

  3. Carlos says:

    Don’t worry, kx59. The “climate disrupters”/the-sky-is-falling AGWers will find another way to get into our wallets and subject us to their nefarious socialist plans.

    They are the most brilliant people on earth, after all. You can tell by the incredulous look on their faces when we common folk look at them in disbelief when they tell us aliens are gonna get us.

    They really do need to pay more attention to the unicorns. Or anything else that keeps them from foisting their version of “science” on the rest of the world.

  4. The Watcher says:

    We’ve seen ALL of their concerns in sci-fi movies; I listed a few at my blog.

    I think there needs to be a Department of Medicine Distribution, just to make sure these people get their pills on time so they don’t do stuff like this.

  5. H Hazell says:

    NASA “scientists” likely underestimate the resilience of many species, including homo sapiens, against eco-conscious alien invaders. I imagine that dogs, cats, lowly vipers and venemous insects will catch the invaders completely unprepared. The average non-elite, freedom loving person will probably be more than willing and able to impede their agenda. Folk like Al Gore would likely live out their lives preparing meals for and serving their new “friends.”

  6. Linda says:

    Do I have to figure out how to spell Klatu barato Nikto?

  7. Rogertheshrubber says:

    Holy Crap!

    The warmists have gone from merely jumping the shark to last being seen on a comet-like trajectory towards Pluto!!

    Truly Nucking Futs!!


  8. Lorica says:

    Isn’t it Klaatu, like the musical group?? lol

    To be honest, I have felt for a very long time this will be one of the arguments that the “beings of light” will use after the Rapture. That these people, Christians, have to be taken away to be re-educated so that they will conform to a more proper way of thinking regarding how to treat mother Earth. That and the Earth cannot take 7billion people and we, the beings of light, had to take away half or more.

    Exciting times to say the least. The deception of the left is so vast that it has become obvious to right thinking people. Our only hope now is a “road to Damascus” moment will open their eyes. – Lorica

  9. Libertarian Advocate says:


    Our only hope now is a “road to Damascus” moment will open their eyes.

    Little hope of that occurring. Try as we might, we can’t fix stoooopid.

  10. Carlos says:

    File this story under “Felony Stupid.”

    Fraud is a felony, isn’t it?

  11. Drew says:

    C’mon, now. I spoke to one of those scientists. I think they are on to something.

    My only problem with the story is when the aliens land and say “take me to your leader,” I’m going to be thinking, uh, er……

  12. Paul says:

    If I lived on another planet I surely wouldn’t any Earthlings coming to visit. We have done our best to muck up what was originally a treasure. Let’s be honest for once and politics be damned !!

  13. Drew says:

    Sorry to be the one to break the news here at Sister Toldjah, but this was a poll testing thingy.

    Ya see, Obama said he’d bring forth his jobs program in September. Kike all great strategies, its two pronged. First, pre-emptive construction of defenses against alien attack. Second, get 100% of all the people on food stamps.

    Economic boom!!!!!!!

  14. Chris in N.Va. says:

    Yup. All of our compassionate, people-loving, diligent Overlord Masters (including some of the ERSATZ “intellectuals”) are continually seeking our very best and only want…

    …To Serve Man


  15. Chris in N.Va. says:

    I know the secret planet-saving catch-phrase:

    Quick, get Barack off the Nicotine!


  16. Carlos says:

    Even IF there were space aliens (as opposed to criminal aliens) watching us, they probably decided millenia ago that these poor earth creatures are beyond help, and the faster they destroy the earth the sooner they can come in with their Acme, Inc. planet refresher and give the good ol’ earth a new start.

    And the new start would not include felony-stupid elitist academics who try their darndest to convince all us po’ stoopid folk how great life will be as soon as we let them take control.