Zell strikes again!

As anyone who’s read this blog for at least the last month knows, I love Zell Miller. He’s like the third grandfather that I never had ;)

He’s got a great humorous parody piece in today’s Washington Times that talks about one of our favorite topics: media coverage of the war. Take a look at some snippets of this parody on how the media of today would have covered Iwo Jima:

What if today’s reporters had covered the Marines landing on Iwo Jima, a small island in the far away Pacific Ocean, in the same way they’re covering the war in Iraq? Here’s how it might have looked:
DAY 1
With the aid of satellite technology, Cutie Cudley interviews Marine Pfc. John Doe, who earlier came ashore with 30,000 other Marines.
Cutie: “John, we have been told by the administration that this island has great strategic importance because if you’re successful, it could become a fueling stop for our bombers on the way to Japan. But, as you know, we can’t be sure this is the truth. What do you think?”

Pfc. Doe: “Well, I’ve been pinned down by enemy fire almost ever since I got here and have had a couple of buddies killed right beside me. I’m a Marine and I go where they send me. One thing’s for sure, they are putting up a fight not to give up this island.”
Cutie: “Our military analysts tell us that the Japanese are holed up in caves and miles of connecting tunnels they’ve built over the years. How will you ever get them out?”
Pfc. Doe: “With flame throwers, ma’am.”
Cutie (incredulously): “Flame throwers? You’ll burn them alive?”

Pfc. Doe: “Yes ma’am, we’ll fry their asses. Excuse me, I shouldn’t have said that on TV.”
Cutie (audible gasp): “How horrible!”
Pfc. Doe (obviously wanting to move on): “We’re at war ma’am.”

Give ’em hell, Zell! Make sure to read the whole thing :)

Wink: Outside the Beltway

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