Since they can’t place as much blame on man as they originally tried to, global warming experts at the UN have now switched gears and are naming poor defenseless cows as the primary contributors to “global warming.”
Read all about this startling revelation here.
Speaking of global warming and the UN, read about Kofi Annan’s upcoming blast of fairwell-to-the-UN hot air at, well, Hot Air. The gist of it is that the outgoing UN Sec. Gen. will make it a point to take a few potshots at the US.
Hat tip: Doug Ross
Also blogging about this: Sensible Mom
One of the disbursements which crossed my desk at the US Environmental Protection Agency was money for government workers to attend a program to study “Methane emissions from ruminant livestock.” In laymen’s words: farting cows.
OK, said I. We have to study the effect of farting cows. But where do you suppose the bureaucrats wanted to go to study the problem? Chicago stockyards? Texas cattle ranch? Nope, a trip to Palm Springs all on the taxpayers dime.
Well, maybe there was a dude ranch out there that was causing all the methane emission.
Comment by Mike's America @ 12/11/2006 - 12:56 pm
Just in case, let’s all eat cow for supper, to help thin their numbers.
Comment by Kevin @ 12/11/2006 - 1:41 pm
Yeah, I have a post up about this. Some lib said “Well, why are there all these cows, then , huh???”
I replied, “I dunno…maybe because we’re not eating them fast enough?” lol
Comment by Brian @ 12/11/2006 - 2:07 pm
It’s all a plot! Once flatulent bovine are blamed (and can our porcine friends be far behind?), it will clearly be required that we stop producing so many cows and pigs, and especially cease to fatten them up for slaughter.
The Kyoto Accords, signed again by President Obama’s Secretary of the Environment Al Gore, will be amended to ban human consumption of beef and pork, because it leads to global warming.
Vegans of the World, Unite!
Comment by Dana @ 12/11/2006 - 3:45 pm
Never thought of that. Dang, PETA is getting sneaky!
Comment by Kevin @ 12/11/2006 - 4:09 pm
This is all a plot by the chickens and the pigs to blame the cows. Now we will want to “thin the herds” (literally) and eat the cows rather than the chix and piggies!
First it was mad cow disease, now this!
PS George Bush killed the dinosaurs by not signing Kyoto!
I am kidding, no hate mail, please!
Comment by Tim @ 12/11/2006 - 4:19 pm
Clearly they’re hoping we won’t check their figures. If it takes 990L of water to get 1L of milk, then it takes 990 gal of water to get 1 gal milk. At 8 pounds per gallon that’s just short of FOUR TONS OF WATER to make each gallon of milk. Or so they would have us believe.
Now, a single Holstein can yield 20,000 pounds, or 2,500 gallons at 8 pounds per, in 305 days. So in ten months, that 1,500 pound cow will drink one hundred ninety-eight million pounds of water; 24,750,000 gallons. The cow produces just over 8 gallons per day, and supposedly has to drink 64,900 pounds of water that day to do so; that’s a tad over 43 times her own weight. And she’s going to lap up her 8,112 gallons of water a few drops at a time with her tongue, and do it in 24 hours with time left over to sleep. And she’s going to urinate 8,100 gallons where she stands (no time to move around) without getting mired in the mud.
Comment by clifto @ 12/11/2006 - 6:27 pm
You guys are glossing over the deeper issue. The true destroyer of the environment is living things. To save the planet, we must end all life on it! Only then will it progress naturally. Even plants have to go, since they destroy rock by turning it into dirt on a massive scale.
Love the planet? Then kill all plants and animals.
Comment by liberal gone wild @ 12/11/2006 - 8:16 pm
Love the planet? Then kill all plants and animals.
While we are at it, we should find an environmentally-friendly way to wipe out the Solar System. Heckfire - let’s just eliminate all matter in the Universe. You cannot be too careful when it comes to protecting the environment….
Comment by Mwalimu Daudi @ 12/11/2006 - 10:48 pm
This report will lead to filtering devices mounted on the heifer’s hindquarters. Once a year, the farmer will have to herd his cattle to the nearest emissions testing station to certify that his cows are properly fitted and the filters are in good working order. Soon, Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp and Neil Young will be recording protest songs in support of the overburdened farmers. We’re talking Fart Aid.
Comment by Marshall Art @ 12/12/2006 - 2:05 am
Actually MD I think they should mount a “gas bag” to the hind end of all cows, this way we could capture all that methane and re-use it. I know there are a few Senators out there running low. - Lorica
Comment by Lorica @ 12/12/2006 - 10:17 am