Lemonade stands! My God, they’re everywhere!!!

Posted by: Phineas on August 3, 2011 at 1:01 pm

**Posted by Phineas

The news is grim, friends. I thought we had the threat contained to the Eastern seaboard (with that one tragic outbreak in Oregon), but it’s spread all the way to the heartland of America: a four-year old girl was operating a lemonade stand in Iowa… brace yourselves… without a license!

The horror:

Police closed down a lemonade stand in Coralville last week, telling its 4-year-old operator and her dad that she didn’t have a permit.

An officer told Abigail Krutsinger’s father Friday that she couldn’t run the stand as RAGBRAI bicyclers poured into Coralville.

I mean, think what would have happened if the police hadn’t been their to shut down this rogue preschooler’s citrusy speakeasy? No business permit? The city wouldn’t get its cut! The consequences of no health inspection? Are you willing to risk an outbreak of cooties??

Whew! That was close!

Thank God the regulatory state that our dedicated public servants bureaucratic betters were on the job.

PS: Have you noticed that all these accused lemonade bootleggers have been girls? I smell a conspiracy…

PPS: Iowa, eh? I wonder where the candidates stand on the Lemonade Menace? Romney probably has his finger in the wind even now.

LINKS: Prior posts in the War Against Lemonade Stands. E.D. Kain at Forbes has noticed the war, too, and brings the news that August 20th is National Lemonade Freedom Day.

(Crossposted at Public Secrets)

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2 Responses to “Lemonade stands! My God, they’re everywhere!!!”


  1. Carlos says:

    Now it’s SOSs (Stuck On Stupids) that are going to be the doom of the country.

    Come to think about it, I have a hard time thinking of one government office (any level) I’ve ever visited where there wasn’t at least one (if not most) person wasn’t so stuck.

    Bureaucrat SOSs: the new viral infection that will (or already has) surpass STDs as a danger to society.

  2. mike in Baltimoe says:

    Carlos-Look at the Idiot in Chief.

    As Ben franklin said, The fish stinks from the head down.

    Intelligence is frowned upon if you work in the government. One bright person will make everyone else look bad. Cant have that, that’s why there are public sector unions.