You Know You’ve Been Online Too Long When…

We can all identify with this, eh?

** Tech Support calls “YOU” for help.

** When you are reading something printed, you wish
you could use a search function to get to the point.

** Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL.”

** When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers
start typing your response.

** You check your e-mail over and over, even when you
know there’s nothing there.

** You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

** You keep begging your friends to get an account so
“we can hang out.”

** Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

** You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on
it.

** You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can
call Pizza Hut.

** You no longer type with proper capitalization,
punctuation, or complete sentences.

** You begin to say “heh heh heh” instead of laughing.

** When someone says “What did you say?” you reply
“Scroll up!”

** You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in
the night when your spouse is asleep.

** You turn down the lights and close the blinds so
people won’t know you’re online again.

** You know more about online friends’ daily routines
than you do your own spouse’s.

** You find yourself lying to others about your time
online and when they complain that your phone was busy
you claim it was off the hook.

** You have an identity crisis if someone is using a
screen name close to your own.

** You would rather tell people that your bloodshot
eyes are from partying too much than the truth.

** You change your screen name so much that you have
to do a who is to know who you are.

** You type messages to people while you are on the
phone with them at the same time.

** You won’t work at a job that doesn’t have a modem
involved.

** Your dog leaves you.

** You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.

** You type faster than you can t hink.

** You can actually read and follow all the names of
the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of
a movie.

** You don’t want to leave in case you miss something.

** You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner
because you wanted to check your mail and while there
you “just wanted to see who was online.”