This is a topic I don’t normally blog about because I like to keep the blog clean in case young people happen to stumble upon it – and I DO have a wholesome image to protect *grin* – but I’m making an exception here. I debated on whether or not to post this but decided “what the hey” …. Click on the link below to read on.
Yesterday afternoon I was driving home from work and got stuck behind a black VW Jetta for several miles on my trip home. I take a lot of backroads to get there, and a lot of backroads are of course two lanes only, so every once in a while I get stuck behind someone driving too slow and can’t get around them.
Except in this instance, it wasn’t a case of someone just driving too slow. The person was ever so slightly weaving across the yellow lines. At first I wondered if the chap behind the wheel was drunk. Then I saw what looked like a woman’s head pop up from the front seat and noticed she shifted back to the passenger seat. She had apparently been leaning down over into the driver’s side. I had NO idea what this couple was doing at first but soon began to assume he was getting a little after-work, um, ‘attention’ if you catch my drift. The reason I say this is because this happened several times: you wouldn’t see the woman’s head for a couple of minutes, then you’d see it again. Now, I could understand if she kept reaching down on HER side of the car for her purse or something, but women passengers generally don’t put their purses down in the driver’s side floorboard!
As if that wasn’t odd enough, almost the entire time this was going on, the chap was not only on his cell phone, but periodically would look in his rearview mirror at me with what I believe was a twinkle in his eye (ick!). So this guy had several things going on: he was driving, talking on his cell phone, apparently being ‘entertained’, and checking me out in his rearview mirror – all at the same time.
Finally, we came to a section on a road we’d both turned onto where he could take a left turn to get into an apartment complex. So he got in the left turn lane while I, in the right lane, started to hit the gas to go straight on and try to forget what I’d just seen. I wasn’t going to look in the vehicle as I passed but the a–hole beeped his horn and out of habit of looking when a horn is blown I looked over, and he was still on his phone, but he smiled and winked at me, and as that was happening all I saw of the woman in the passenger seat was her hair and shoulder blades!
I know for some guys (ok, all of them!) that things like that are a turn on, but a word of advice for anyone considering it: please DON’T do it in five o’clock traffic when lots of people are around to see something they don’t want to! Yes, I am a conservative but that doesn’t mean I’m a prude – I just think certain things need to be done out of view of other folks, know what I mean?
Oh, and to answer the thread title (which is a spinoff of the wonderful book by former Rep. JC Watts, a book title which I have no business playing off of!) I’m sure my face was as beet red as the pinkish/red ribbed thermal zip up jacket I was wearing
Note: Please try keep the comments in response to this reasonably clean by refraining from using too-crude terms