Mon/Tues open thread and informal survey

I was just settling in for the evening and reading one of my favorite women’s magazines (First), and I came across a reader survey they did, which asked: “When should married couples sleep apart?” Oh, and by sleep, they mean actually sleeping, not the other “sleeping”! =p~

The responses were:

88% say it’s alright to do it occasionally when one partner snores.
61% say it’s alright to do it often when one partner has extreme work stress.
53% say it’s already to do it always when one partner has insomnia.

My personal opinion? I agree with the minority who voted “no way,” like this gal did:

“My husband and I solved our bed-sharing issues by getting a king-size bed. I cannot imagine not sleeping in the same bed as him. I love that he is the last thing I see before I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.” – Nicky, 33, Bowling Green, KY

Of course, I’m a hopeless romantic, so that’s a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agree. I can’t think of a reason why I’d ever have my (future) husband sleep on the couch, or in another room in the house. However, if I’d found out he were cheating, it wouldn’t be the couch or another room in the house he’d be sleeping in, but a hotel, with bags packed. We’d sort out the details later.

I remember years and years ago my mom and I were watching a sitcom and the two main characters, a married couple, had had an argument and the wife made him sleep on the couch. After chuckling at the scene, I turned to mom and said something along the lines of, “I bet there’s been a few times dad’s been in that same situation” and she looked at me in all seriousness and said he hadn’t ever been, that early on in their marriage (apparently after an argument) they agreed that there would be no sleeping on the couch, that even if they had arguments before they went to bed they would never go to sleep mad at each other. Mom has never believed in the “make him sleep on the couch” philosophy, and I can’t say I disagree at all.

snuggling coupleFirstly, it’s easier to fall asleep when you’re not mad than when you are. Secondly, married couples should be able to agree to disagree before hitting the pillow, because who wants to wake up in the morning still irked at their spouse for something said the night before? It totally starts the day off wrong, after ending the previous day on the wrong foot. And finally, no issue should be so huge that it comes between you and that goodnight kiss (or more …).

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with the results?


Edited to add: I just took the online survey for the question “Is it okay for married couples to frequently sleep apart?” and the response so far is 75% saying “no!” So, it sounds as though First readers are conflicted and that all hope is not lost here ;)

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