Why are spurned women accused of assaulting mutual lover getting the kid glove treatment?
Read the various headlines about four women in Wisconsin who are accused of kidnapping and assaulting a man who they claim was involved with all four of them (it’s true for at least one of the women – she’s his wife). Supposedly none of them knew he had other lovers and when they found out, they allegedly kidnapped him, tied him up, and – um – glued a certain part of his anatomy onto his stomach.
Now, if what’s been reported about the guy is true – that he cheated on multiple women – then obviously he’s a jerk. But a jerk that deserves what happened to him? No. Each of these women got out of jail on $200 bond. Yep, $200. Now I want you to imagine for five seconds had this been a woman who was kidnapped by spurned lovers, tied up, with certain parts of her body glued to her stomach. Number one, you wouldn’t have this cutesy coverage these women have gotten (example: “Women use Krazy Glue on philanderer’s special gift, WI police say” – from the KC Star blog and “Women stick together against cheating lover” – from the Chi Tribune) and number two, I have little doubt that the four men who kidnapped the woman would get slapped with a much higher bail amount.
I find this type of coverage demeaning to women. It makes it look like it’s not only “cute” but also “acceptable” to take their revenge out on men in ways that are completely out of bounds of civilized society. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and all that. Not only that, but the double standards are appalling. A man, or males, involved in a stunt like this would be crucified by the press, and NOW would wail for weeks about the injustice of it all and how it “proved” their assertions about the evilness of all men.
I’ve seen the injustices in the courtroom – women getting light sentences and/or sympathy for the actions they took to get revenge on their former lovers for cheating on them … actions that included murder. I can’t remember the case name off hand but I remember several years ago the story of a woman who repeatedly ran over her cheating husband with a car in a hotel parking lot while his daughter sat in the passenger seat beside her. I also remember reading stories in various women’s magazines about how there were women who “identified” with the woman because of what they went through, and felt sympathy for her. Please! We’re all adults and we’re all responsible for the choices we make, and sometimes we’re wronged and there’s nothing we can do about it. And sometimes we can – in the courtroom, not by taking “justice” into our own hands. Unlike how the media – and sometimes the courts – like to portray spurned women as boiling cauldrons of pent-up rage just waiting to erupt, most of us are quite sane even in the face of having to deal with the extreme pain of finding out your s/o isn’t being faithful.
If we’re going to demand equality in this country, then it starts with not treating women differently than men when it comes to assaults against their lovers (former or current). It’s not cute, it’s not funny, and it’s not justified – except in cases of self-defense.