BREAKING: More women wearing short skirts means economic recovery is just around the corner

Er, wha?

Want to shorten the recession? Try wearing a shorter skirt.

Rising hemlines – along with upbeat songs on the radio – are signs of national optimism and can result in a happy outcome on both the economic and political scenes, according to a new research reported by the Daily Express.

When women start wearing mini skirts and happy tunes rise high on the charts, this means the nation is feeling content, according to John L. Casti, author of “Mood Matters: From Rising Skirt Lengths to the Collapse of World Powers.”

“All social events ranging from trends in pop music and art to the outcome of elections and even the rise and fall of great civilizations are biased by the attitudes a society holds to the future,” he said in the Daily Express.

When the mood is positive, he explains, events “of an entirely different character tend to occur” than when people are feeling pessimistic. “Most people think the outcome of elections causes the mood of the country to change,” Casti said. “The opposite is true.”

Casti’s not the first to believe skirt lengths can function almost like a crystal ball. The e-tailer eBay recently claimed that “miniskirt meteorology” actually forecasts the weather based on the lengths of the skirts its customers purchase, according to the Daily Mail, as reported on Sales analysts for eBay said that hemlines of skirts bought before a heat wave rise, and then drop down before the cold rolls in.

JWF quips:

This is groundbreaking stuff. Next thing you know they’ll be predicting cold weather when women start purchasing more sweaters and slacks.

I’m confused by this “study.” You would think that the more women there are wearing shorter skirts that the men in the workforce wouldn’t be as focused on their work because they were, um, preoccupied with other thoughts and as a result that would continue the current economic drag? Same same for women, esp. those who work uptown and get a little, uh, distracted by the construction guys doing the heavy lifting, and sharp looking dudes in their business suits.

I’m at a loss, and maybe that’s for the best, considering that most social “studies” of this nature are, IMO, a waste of time and money anyway considering that so many of them already only “reveal” the obvious

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